"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
