yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
