remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize