so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I am available for nakedness
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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