Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
