how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Randomize
