lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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