Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize