is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
