They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize