Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
