If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
