AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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