At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
