"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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