i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
