He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
