hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
