dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
he thought i was a dude.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Randomize
