So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
