how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
wow bdsm is so cute
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