this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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