there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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