I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
