i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
