You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
