i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
