somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
my nose is crying tears of wow.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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