i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
