So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I looked at my own cervix.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Randomize
