I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
