I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
