let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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