I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
