I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
