Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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