would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
We got so high we made milksteak
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
