Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
