Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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