i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
it hurts more in the daytime
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Randomize
