ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
