I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
