i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
