I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
