Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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