She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
