We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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