This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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