i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
