I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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