Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
