He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
