ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
