Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
