Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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