By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Someone came in the potted fern
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
