If that was your dad, he is hot
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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