i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
