the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
