Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
