I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
this will be a night to untag.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
