i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
