She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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