You're so nebulous sometimes
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
