He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
