and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
