you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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