The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
